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  • 6 hours ago
  • 59888

loveandbeatings:

carpeumbra:

kittengrin:

kittengrin:

carpeumbra:

kittengrin:

carpeumbra:

Fifty Shades of Domestic Abuse

50 Shades of Damaging Stereotypes 

Fifty Shades of Wanna Guess How Many People Will Be Hospitalized Due To Flesh Wounds From Improper Knots After The Movie?

50 Shades of Glorified Abuse

50 Shades of Kidney Damage from Incompetent Crop Use

Fifty Shades of Pathological Violence Due To Past Trauma Isn’t Kink

Fifty Shades of This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

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  • 6 hours ago
  • 102009

amongwxlves:

so mads mikkelsen forgot the plot of casino royale but remembered the name of the bird he was carrying around in king arthur.

it’s name is chopper

d’aaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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"SARAH NOOOOOO"

carpedm:

-Our party’s Cleric, after rebuking so many undead that he accidentally destroyed his zombie sister we were supposed to be saving.

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  • 6 hours ago
  • 13
  • DM:You want to play 'The Sound of Silence' on a... blade of grass?
  • Paladin:Yeah.
  • DM:You'll need to make three checks. Roll for Craft, a Bluff check to maintain your disguise, and a Perform.
  • Paladin:*Rolls an 3, a 20, and a 3*
  • DM:You go to pluck a blade of grass, but instead of neatly grabbing just one, you pull up a chunk of turf and have to shake the dirt off the end. Your Paladin turns and gives the enemy commander a 'I'm about to rock your world' look - he seems into it, surprisingly. She brings the blade of grass up to her lips, and...
  • Paladin:And?
  • DM:*makes a raspberry noise*
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  • 6 hours ago
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  • Elphaba:you're the only friend I've ever had.
  • Glinda:and I've had so many friends
  • Audience:*laughs*
  • Glinda:but only one that mattered
  • Audience:*cries*
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